Dear Diary

Sept. 8th 2024

So much has been on my brain and I always have a flood of emotions about the things I am experiencing, not experiencing. In all honesty a lot of days I feel so lonely. I feel like what makes somewhere feel like home is the people and not the place. Living so far away. I don't have my people. Some days I feel regret for choosing this life. A life with never-ending expenses, in the middle of the ocean, away from my family. All just so I can get a 4-year degree and put myself in $40,000 in debt. I know it's just my mentality and I could be more positive about the situation. It's just hard...

I know there's no pressure to have everything figured out at 21 but I can't help but think about my future. I don't want to fail. I have so many ideas and hopes for my life but I need to start figuring out what I am passionate about. The money aspect has such a hold on me and I always think about what I can be doing to become successful and make the most money, but it doesn't feel rewarding. At least not in the moment. I know theres other people out there that feel this way too so I know its not un normal to have these feelings.